The Life and Times of Peter Green
Archive: 6 September - 17 September 2010

PG & Morrissey. Sunset Marquis-West Hollywood September 2010
Photo Credit: Thanks to Jennifer Granozio

September 6th

Mark sends me a link for Capacitance Electronic Disc. Loved it, how freaky is this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capacitance_Electronic_Disc

I send it to Greg Skyhook and tell him Skyhooks should not release a Blu Ray but a C.E.D at least they'd be unique in 2010!

I go visit my doctor at Prahran today- every 18 months I have my blood test, checks me for everything from diabetes to bowel cancer. I also get a double script for some Stillnox for our flights. All of this costs a mere $65.00 and I get $36.00 back from medicare. So just under $30 which is amazing!!!! I have no idea why American wouldn't want such health cover like what we have- it's madness. I can't imagine what this would cost in the states.

Finish off the skeleton memory box tonight.... as I finally tracked down some blue glitter for the insides. It's a 7 out of 10, you envision one thing and it gets close, but no cigar. I'll keep it, some art projects are never 100%... people seem to like it.... little boxes little boxes...

I'm stoked as I finally get the Tim Burton program as a gift for a good mate... I hassled and hassled for this one... very cool.

September 7th

It's official Julia Gillard is PM...so stoked- all i can say is SUCKED IN TONY ABBOTT YOU BIG HOMOPHOBE. See me dancing. Loved how one of the independents said 'do it once, do it right and do it with optic fibre" when asked about the fast speed broadband.

Dr Chiro pops me back into shape to get ready for the upcoming flight to America. I feel good...I'll deal with it. About 17 hours one way and 18 hours back.

Pay bills today, finally clear them all out of the way. Watch my pay flying out the window. I might paint an Aussie $20 bill with wings on it..or maybe a small carved statue...

September 8th

I start to pack my bags today, just a few bits and pieces so I don't forget. Somehow all the mail has to go in as well. The pile is growing every day. I wonder what customs will think of all the cute little Intriguer and Temple of Low Men badges wrapped in their small drug like parcels!!! I leave one open to show what's in it...just a badge no blow!

A friends mum has passed away, just horrible, I never know what to say- hate to see nice people sad....send a card our thoughts are with you Jen M xoxx

September 9th

Marks mum hits the magic 70 mark, I sing to her Marky doesn't...he 'doesn't sing' which isn't true I've heard him sing.

I make some small lasagne's for Mark so he has some prepared meals while I'm away. I am a good wifey.

Oh shit the mail really fills my suitcase. I squash Miss K's copy of WINGS in so it's nice and snug and protected.

I finish a stock count for Rocket Pocket Books. The 4th diary book TRIP from this diary site is a mere 12 copies from breaking even!!! The first 3 have all sold out, so this is amazing. 12 to go. So any readers who are after a signed copy of TRIP, the first 12 we will let them go for HALF PRICE and cover the postage. I'm determined that this will break even, it's a lame milestone but when you self publish the breaking even mark is just so wonderful. Anyway 12 to go, if you email me (peter@frenz.com) include name and full address and mention you are after the 1/2 price copy of TRIP.

September 10th

I drive Mark to the supermarket to stock up on his food for my week away. Even when I am away I spend more on grocery's then he does...

Today is run around day and getting last minute things done. It's a bit like a blind panic, you always feel like there is something you haven't packed. In my case a bag jammed full of mail leaves very little room for packing.... so it's probably good if I have forgotten something. I'm stoked to be flying business as is my aching back! Plus my excess luggage will be ignored. (PHEW)

September 11th

Melbourne-Sydney-Los Angeles.

My flight leaves at a very reasonable time, still a drive from our place so I'm up early but not insanely so. Most of the flight will be during the daylight hours. I'm flying on an American airline on 9/11. Really it's probably the safest day to do so. Melbourne airport was packed ,thousands of people. The business class line only had a handful of people- so breezed through. Immigration was insane...I'd guess maybe 2000 people.!!!

United dick around and my seat was changed, I have no idea why they ask people to book their seats online you never get what you locked in..because it's never really locked in. Food was ok, guy next to me worked for Mars the candy company, he was cool. Read watch some movies, pop the stillnox and wipe out 6 hours off the 17 hour flight. I went via Sydney so called Mum from the airport, we were in Sydney sin city for a massive 20 minutes. The crying baby in economy was still 12 seats away so my ear plugs worked... wasn't that bad. Imagine a crying baby next to you for 17 hours.?

I arrive LAX and it's still 9/11. Customs and immigration was empty, I was the 3rd in line. So the sheep corral was non existent- a first for everything. I'm asked why I'm visiting these fine shores (I don't even think of my thoughts from past immigration- "my mind reply was 'to give george bush some pain"). I answer truthfully- "holiday and to attend a concert". "Which one" asks the very tall immigration guy. "A guy called Neil Finn" I reply knowing he'll say "who"? "Oh the NZ singer" he says...wow I'm impressed. I'm let into America again. My bag rattles down the chute as I walk up, grab it and go go go. The shuttle for the hire care turned up within minutes it's all rolling along. I thought I'd be waiting for hours. I was stupid I grabbed a car via Dollar instead of my usual Hertz, no idea why. Such a dumb move- also Dollar seemed very desperate when I arrived and kept pushing all the hidden extra's. I don't want any and I refused to bend. I say "NO" with a killer arse smile. My car is NOTHING like what I ordered -it's a Mercury!!! You know those big metal bastards used in stings as unmarked cop cars. I'm handed my GPS and drive off into the LA traffic. I keep chanting my mantra " Right side Right side!" It's strange driving with no one else in the car....I miss Marky riding shot gun and in LA traffic you do need one -A SHOT GUN!!! This GPS is a bit kooky and I end up on some side street.....on the wrong side of the road... momentarily forgetting my mantra. Oh Fuck a car is coming... I slide back to the right side again..the driver looks scared-he should be. Mad Australian lost and confused. It's only been 5 minutes and my first head on! (that was head on not head job-be nice reader) I'm now back on the freeway. Surprisingly after 17 hours of flying I feel good, the LA freeway is always a challenge and I need to work out KM's compared to Miles... oh my I am driving fast.... when in LA do what the roman (polenski's?) do...drive fast!

I arrive at the Sunset Marquis in record time. No sign of Jen from NYC, is that the time, boy I AM early... an hour earlier then expected. The staff are great, I check my bags in and head to get some food. The food area is called 'restaurant' god that's original I chuckle. Large B&W photos signed by many of the artists that stay here are on the walls and walkways, it's very rock and roll hostel.... I wave at Morrisseys B&W, I know he is still here. I can feel his Mozza vibe. Fate will have to make him find ME... I only stalk when really pressed. Lovely Michael still works in the restaurant- I bet he is the real reason Mozza is still here *evil laugh*- he walks me to my table, by the glass as always so I can check out the walkways- for Jen and friend not the Big M!

The sun recharges my skin, it feels amazing, I so need this. I suck it up like a human solar panel. I have on my "smart" glasses (as Neil calls them) with green tints . Two californian blondes walk up and ask me what band I'm in. One actually sits down! Yieks- band aids.. way too early and besides I'm married. I decide to play the game and slightly alter my accent (or maybe it was girl fear). "Cmon guys you work it out". They don't want to play- good- I want to write and read and soak up sol. A staff member shews them away like they are some tiresome seagulls & I a piece of stray bread. I smile at the absurdity of it all.. sit back enjoy my coffee and read. Finally a good coffee in LA! I'm so happy to be here for a few days. I'll also see some of 'the gals", sadly no Miss K or J and no Finlandier flying in ): But I'll make some calls and at least chat which is so nice to do - good to talk. If I had over a week I'd fly to them but even these few days are taxing on my Amex, it's only generosity that makes this one happen- still feels both weird and so cool.

The seagulls are moving closer, I pray to the Marquis goddess that Jen arrives soon..and there she is with her friend Crystal. All smiles. I no longer feel like 'the lonely guy from outta town"! All 3 of us sit gossip eat and laugh- this will be a fun few days. I'll surely lose my voice numerous times.

We check in and the Bungalow is truly lovely, it's in the new wing- I've never 'lived' in the new area. All those ferns and waterfalls, it's perfect-we are impressed, I judge a room by it's bathroom- this has a pretty damn fine bathroom, a tub where i'll have to have a climbing rope attached to be found.... double shower and separate sinks , rubber fucker ducky's!!! The Marquis De Sunset sure pulls some weight here...I sit back and love the ride- nice to be spoilt and I am ..wow.

We get ready, the girls mention front row tickets, tonight I am a punter- FRONT row..good grief, I change shirts from my greenish curtain material type creation to BLACK... black pants, black shirt black socks black boxer shorts! I grab Hessie's hat. It's a cute hat. We both bought them in Sydney and they were from the Luton hat company (both laughed at the Enz 'Rootin Tootin Luton name)... we ended up swapping, as mine was 1/2 a size bigger and Pauls was too tight. So I have his hat and he had mine. It's a good hat because it seems to spring back into shape when squashed. Plus I can hide under it... so front row I am so freaked and this way I can hide from my boss!

It's time for the show,well almost... so I drive, the girls giggle at the car... I pretend I just stole it, that feels better, why I would is anyones guess but I guess if I do plough into someone it's solid.

Largo is only 5 minutes away down La Cienega. You just look for the Girls Girls Girls bar, it's opposite or Trashy Lingerie next to it. Near the Beverley Centre.

Crystal waves and chats to everyone, I'm going to call her Miss Meth... not that she uses Meth but Crystal Meth seems to suit- wild cat she is. Rene ,Tim and Cindy are out front. Starving so we head off to eat... just nice to sit with these guys, I'm a bit bleary but hanging on no yawning or falling asleep, forgot when I last slept. We eat fast Largo calls and gotta get those seats. Jen spoils every single person in the whole restaurant!!!!!!! The 800 of them! She is Oprah of NYC!

So we are in, we get the usual Largo talk... no cameras phones off no recording devices. So glad phones off I detest mobile phones at gigs, I hope we ban them soon. Oh shit front row. A few people come up and say 'hi' and truly it's so nice, I always am amazed at how lucky we are to have so many good people around this band, the rat bags are so far and few, it's such a blessing. We could have really shit music lovers, I keep telling people it's a job and in many ways the band should be happy so many are supportive and for so long. Anyway it's a nice start. Sandy P has the best dress of the night, just love it and it's all shimmy shiny... she wins the award for that one. Though R,C,J and C come close.....I decided not to wear a dress so I'm not in the running. But my legs look good.

The lights are off and out walks Neil looking shaggy and no moustache (yey). I guess everyone has worked out that they were fake by now, I think he mentioned it in some interviews. 145 of them bulk discount... felt weird buying them.... it looked so obviously fake a few times and I know once he caught it in his hand on stage when he turned around. Anyway the joke is over and he's back to regular . The very cool bit of this show was the rarities he played, some songs probably not for 15 years. Hello Sandy Allen , Sergie, Last To Know, the wonderful Carried Away. Also Blue Hotel that Jimmy Barnes covered on his album... he made a few mistakes and they just added to the warmth. I LOVE these shows, Crowdies are always very special to me but something about Neils solo shows just ignites it in me. I'm grinning while Jen is humming (rather well I might add) during Gentle Hum, hell the whole room is humming.... I'd better hum..... "hummmmmmmm" oh am I off key....it's been awhile. I almost laugh at the Humming, I can't help it.

He skypes Tim in NZ a few seconds delay but they duet via Skye- "Weather".... what fun... we stand up during the encore and he spots me, "There's Peter Green" , I mouth 'Hi Boss" and feel both happy and a tool in the front row... fuck it tonight I am a fan, also kind of proud that I work for this guy. The set finishes with 'Catch the Wind'. What a night. No Little Room show and I decide to say hello tomorrow night. Chat to a few people, some girl pinches my arse and says 'love your accent', well now I'm red faced like a school boy.

Say goodbye and especially to Cindy who heads off and wont make it tomorrow. A few new faces come up and talk, my voice is a bit croaky, all that damn humming I bet. We walk to the car, and run into Sebastian- nice to see him, we chat about ghosts!!

It's now getting late, we arrive at the hotel, the bar is a jumping. I grant a perverse wish and pose in a pretend vodka drinking wino photo session which I bet will come back and haunt me. I spit vodka in a huge spray for the shot and I'm covered and I am so glad vodka hardly smells.... I think i swallowed half of it..urgh. The things I do to pay my 'rent' (joking) I was really worried when they started throwing the iron and power cord into the bath as well. We have a snack and I'm sure it recharges me as I don't sleep a wink. I think....... and think... it's all good I listen to the sirens and wails of Los Angeles. Great gig- what a seat to sit in.....!!!

September 12th

I see a spectre run past me in the early hours of morning with her iphone in her hand. I watched with one eye open. Yieks. On the go and up and atom.

I see that the True Blood finale for this current season made the Nielsen Top 10 in the States. maybe people do have some taste after all.

It's a day to be lazy by the pool, I'm still stuck in some shade, the malaria tablets take ages to go away so it's still easy to get burn't which sucks.... but some sun is nice. We eat by the pool chat by the pool. Watch the numerous bands roll in as the Video Awards are on tonight. Was that Michael Stipe from REM with an odd looking camera taking photos? Quite a few young bands pool-side, showing off tattoos and some hot some not bodies.

Time to get changed for Largo too, I ditch the hat and decide some sort of aged old skater is a good look, a beanie to hide under.....

I drive again, car is left in the upper car park it's not like anyone is going to steal this baby. The girls walk us in again, Largo is theirs I'm thinking... have a diet coke in the Little Room- how daring. Chat to more people tonight, word is out, I have some nervous energy about me, it feels oddball. My voice is going fast. Neil's show tonight is different, a bit more together...The Devil You Know just stands out after all these years an underrated NF classic... Bowies "Moonage Daydream" just makes me dribble and get way too Bowie excited..... "Road to nowhere' really kicks too.... I turn around and so many familiar faces all smiling- good to see.....

I catch up with Neil and Sharon afterwards... he says Little Room is on in a minute..expect Tom Jones...I ask if I should throw my underwear!? I get 'that' grin from the Finn... so stoked to see these shows. Sharon comes for a walk and we say hello to a friend or two, she should tour more she looks really healthy. I grab my seat amongst the few, would it be 40 people here??? Starts with "For The Turnstiles", finishes with "Miss You"...those Purto Rican Gals who are just dying to meet chew......(sing along..someone had to)... little room show started about 11.00..... did it really go for over an hour +.... more chatting afterwards a few photos out front by the tarot card sign...my favourite nice and blurry and red and orange light ripping the shot apart. (thanks Cindy)

I can't remember driving back to the hotel, I do remember Miss Meth say "go go go" like she was at the Kentucky derby and not in my car. Did I fall asleep at the lights?

We soon are wandering down the walkways of the Marquis, candles are burning and it's such a nice warm night. The Marquis de Sunset elbows me and I spot him... surrounded by some older chaps , they look like music industry mafia -they look angry and he looks crappy. Yes it's time for a Morrissey encounter. We are gliding pass the alcove where he is sitting...so what to do I bellow- "Hellooooooo Darling" (like Miss Candee!!!)I wave....and shout (way ,way too loud).... gee that will make an impression- his royal grumpiness looks well... not impressed. We kind of giggle and keep walking. So serious... who can be serious tonight?

It takes arm bending to try and invade and get a photo, I see people do this to Neil every moment on tours and just shopping at woolworths. But I think of an excuse, need to check up on my suite for tomorrow..... so my accomplice in crime ushers me out (ok she didn't need to usher) .... off we go to the front desk...and as we walk past the big M is still holding court, old men at gone and just a guy and gal.....we ignore him (and I wipe the bead of sweat). I rarely stalk these days so I'm out of practice *GRIN*.

Check stuff at desk, check room and head back..... fortune favours the brave, what can he say "fuck off'? We check Marquis de Sunsets camera and its crapping out. I blow out some candles and make a wish, a photo any sort of photo will be ok. I read somewhere that he's had almost zero shots taken lately, a weight thing? or maybe he couldn't be bothered to say yes. So we approach...I go forward and genuinely wanted to thank him for the tickets and private box he gave me at his Hollywood Bowl show, don't care if it's sucky..... I should of said this awhile back. He opens his mouth and good grief he is so wasted .... and the 2 people with him seem pretty gone too- shit we are interrupting a party ...now I'm guilting so I apologize. He is slurring, it's kind of funny..... and I ask for the photo. He keeps saying he's too fat etc etc..... in the end he says yes. I promise to photoshop him thinner- he grins. It's strange this 'fan' stuff how do our Crowdies fan do this stuff...... I give the old bugger a cuddle he sounds like he needs one .... 'everyone hates me'.... so silly. Not sure about the cardigan, has he's been raiding my pops wardrobe. Oh stop it..it's fucking Morrissey (well I'm not FUCKING Morrissey but you know what I mean). I introduce Jen and we now both think the guy next to him was Brandon Flowers from The Killers... who is a bigger Mozza groupie then I am (chuckle).... which makes sense as The Killers were nominated for some video awards. So I say thanks and we head off... I'm stoked even a slightly blurry snap is just a fine way to end these 2 great days.....so far.

Back in the room I might well of done the Morrissey dance onto top of some giant leather leg rests....I might well of copyrighted the line "There is MISERY in MorRISsEY" and it rings true letter wise...... I might well of had some desert off Miss Jennifers plate when she wasn't looking and I might well of had no sleep again. Desert and a Big M moment...oh well. It was another 4.30 in the morning 'good night'...I hear a siren at 6.30 and wonder if Mozza has fallen into the pool and drowned? I feel so good...the last of the international play boys or what? Yeah girl you made this one happen!

September 13th

I was awake when the girls "wake up" call happened. I marched in like sgt major and made sure they were out of bed. "Yes Sir, Awake Sir' they saluted. Ok they might of thrown a few pillows. So sad to see them go, and will have to call Miss K and J today..and have to chat to Debbie Levitt as well.... so I won't feel too lonely. I feel such a great vibe and as corny as it sounds I am blessed these wonderful people are really important to me...I consider calling Finland as well to say hi to Suuz but my phone bill is already crazy. I walk out to reception with them and wave goodbye to Miss Meths 'far better' car then mine.... sad.

I head back to Villa 92-shit hot habitation room...and glide into a huge bed that feels like a cloud and I have a power nap or three. The shower is great..... all ready to face- the Hollywod Post Office!!!

I carry the huge mail sack to the car and head to my Hollywood car park hoping it still exists, it's off Sunset. It does but it's doubled in price..oh well. It's safe and close. The Hollywood Post Office- I never learn-each year the line grows and each year the postal tellers drop in number. A dozen windows but only 2 people working. Some jive arse mother fucker (yes someone actually called him that) is being a pain, a woman in line starts abusing him, people are stressed it's sticky hot. I'm kind of loving it- sick puppy that I am- no guns firing (yet). Aging Anne serves me (finally), her brown hair,. mostly grey, all washed out, it reminds me of a tom cats bum (sorry). I am kind to her, everyone else has been rude, it's not her fault the postal service is in tatters. She's only slightly kooky and a bit obsessive, it's like she's writing a training book on American Post and I am her (no so ) willing guinea pig. I stay kind-she loves my 'many pretty stamps'. She asks about my 'brooklyn accent'!!! really that's a new one. "No I'm from Japan" I say. "Of course" she says-I should of known she knew that-now I"M really confused. I focus on the remaining parcels, I stay kind..only just. I can feel the beady eyes of those in line burning into my back, wishing me to leave. Finally all done, I turn and the line is now out the door, I show no guilt, I've just paid someone's wage in postage for god sake. Go one-one of you dare to say something I stare..no one does. . My receipt is my exact height! Anne is impressed she tells me "It's the biggest one I've ever seen". I assume she is still talking about my receipt? I check my fly in case. (PHEW). I thank her warmly and smile. Anne is happy I'm a satisfied customer & all the way from Japan. Wait till she tells her hubby Stan all of this when she gets home. How does she put up with this every day. I do have a chuckle at the bottom of my receipt it says "Tell us about your recent postal experience". and the website link on mine was blank! They must of received too many nasty emails from the customers at Hollywood Post Office I think...to blank out the address.

I head to 'staples' and buy some label stickers for our mail outs. Amoeba is a few doors down so I buy Mark 3 Blu Rays and Grant Lee Phillips "Ladies Love Oracle" (well Mark is 'the oracle' and ladies do love him!). Grant Lee impressed me so much at the NF shows and he's funny. I am desperate for a drink the post office dried me out so head into the Wendy's opposite Amoeba. It freaks me out, it's like all the homeless zero'd in on this place. I bought 3 of them food- super meals, I wonder how many good things are in the food compared to bad. There are so many around it's so sad. I see so many up markets sports cars drive past and I just want to shout- 'feed your fellow americans". Inside the Wendys is a dark vibe and it's kind of grotty, I eat a very small burger gulp my drink and get the hell out of dodge. One guy gets up in front of me and it does scare me a bit-he shakes my hand. I guilt, he was just saying thanks... I feel like such a shit. He just says 'thank you' I hope he didn't see how stand off-ish I was, I'm almost ashamed. Funny how someone down on their luck can scare us isn't it. Kindness is in short supply. I helped 3 with fast food, that's not very good is it?

I think about this when I drive back to the hotel. At least I don't go to the other side of the road and kill people with the chunky bastard car!

I move from the glamour bungalow to the nice suite in the late afternoon. As I walk past I spot Lady Ga Ga at the restaurant, I guess she is in for the video awards. She's eating fruit and no meat in sight, she's not even wearing a steak on her head!. I sneaked back to sit nearby and observe and to get Miss K an autograph but she has Ga Ga'd out of here on her way to the airport. I go back to the room and change into my workman shirt and shorts and boots to had down Santa Monica Boulevard, just for a walk-such a lovely day.

I open the curtains and my neighbour across the way in the apartments is putting on a strip show for me. Our rooms are very close. OK he is far too Hollywood good looking, that's envy folks! Hmm he stops at his white Y-fronts... I'm kind of chuckling-does he do this every day? Maybe he does-well it pays to advertise I guess. That's called a personal trainer kids.

I call Tim and Rene and they have left already so I totally blew that, between the room change and post office it just chewed up the day. I wave goodbye to my private stripper- he waves and smiles.... ok!

I'm in West Hollywood so the golden gay mile is 5 minutes away- I'm after a good coffee and nothing else....and know where to find one. I also want some throat medicine (i have no voice-some may say that's a blessing) so I head to Marvins pharmacy which still exists.... all the regular places, the Palm Car Wash still exists too and I'm wolf whistled- now my ego is out the door. Good grief every gay man has a small dog with him.... they out do Paris Hilton 20 to 1. Lots of couples holding hands, no lesbians- maybe they only come out at night on the mile? I wonder if any drag queens will step out into the sun- as I think it I spot her. The rarest of queens-one that isn't nocturnal (I have a David Attenborough voice in my head).... great wig- I smile- she winks..... she could be Ga Ga's body double. same size penis (opps).

I score my coffee read the newspaper and head home. I make a few calls, Jeannie, Miss K and Deb- so nice to speak to them- don't feel homesick.... ok a bit-I call Marky next.

I spend the afternoon writing, call room service and have a very relaxing bath. My favourite Tshirt has an odour of vodka (yes vodka does have an odor)...I blame Miss Meth and the Marquis De Sunset for this......I wash my shirt. I settle back as a new season of WEEDS starts tonight, I spotted it on the giant billboard on Hollywood Blvd.... I climb into bed at 11.00 i'm bored by all the US mid term election stuff.... such wankers.

September 14th

My quest for the day is to try and find The Rolling Stones Monopoly set for Mark. I remember there was to be a Toys Are Us store at the Beverly Centre, so I will head down and check it out.

I am so in love with LA today-feel great, I think it's the sunshine. Perfect weather not too hot. Karen the breakfast host is a sweetie I now have a regular table at the restaurant-old habits eh? I read that the latest buzz for American kids is to mix cough medicine with other medication to get a high. My Day Quil that I bought yesterday has dextron in it-which is the main drug- DEX. A few kids have died already from mixing- really bad.

The Beverley Centre is now really boring, bring back Tori Spelling and her wild shopping sprees I say- when she stopped slutting about it became a bit lame. The few good shops have gone-it's dull. However my mate Rene reminded me that across the road is Halloween Adventure (8441 Canoga Ave) and it's a huge store- excellent costumes. I want to work at Halloween Adventure and wear a new costume every day- hell I could be a new person every day. I love this place. I walk in and spot a fake fur screeching witches cat- nice and black and standing up in terror.....that's mine! Halloween isn't too far away......it really screeches. I get my costume a really good Batman suit- instant pecs and a 6 pack..love it....I find the perfect Pimp outfit for Mark.... he'll want to wear it all the time. Add on some fake jewellery like the infamous rhinestone $ pendant and walking stick... he will be the man about town (well Kalorama anyway). We missed our friend Jodi's birthday so I spot a Wonder Woman outfit out of the corner of my eye.... she scores that. The kids next door get buckets of eyeballs and glow in the dark Vamp teeth and blood and spider web fingernails..... and of course a HUGE dancing ghost that floats in the area and bellows...... I am so glad I get paid soon, my fantastic plastic is worn out. I carry the 5 bags to the car.... I've paid another persons wage for the week... oh well will keep America out of recession. That is a GOOD store.

I do drive to Melrose well via melrose- and spot the Golden Apple Comic Book store.... it's a good one....they had some copies of '7 soldiers of victory" and Captain America Reborn....

I see some of Joy Behars show on tv- it's ok..she's not too bad....fires a few good political shots. At one stage the Halloween cat starts screaming. The on/off switch is broken and I don't have a screwdriver handy to remove the screws to open the battery door to take out the batteries...so imagine what people thought-they'd walk down the corridor and near my room for 25 minutes a cat screaming LOUDLY..... I eventually remove the batteries. As Mark says-what a world I live in!!!

September 15th-16th-17 (I've lost a day...can anyone find it?)

LA- Sydney-Melbourne

Sleep ok not great probably excited about heading home and also thinking about this great week. So good to chat on the phone the other night to the girls too-did my heart good.

The Sunset gives me an extended check out, I only need an extra hour I guess..... Michael makes me a really special breakfast ,well he didn't make it but he took my order. Gave me a free coffee or two..they spoil me here. Another lovely day- does LA ever have bad days? Those wacky Californians it's all the sunlight- envy! I check out wave goodbye to the doorman and head to the freeway. Still looking for that goddamn Stones Monopoly-so desperate I'm going to drive to Van Nuys-the stupid Walmart and try. I am on the freeway and moving baby.... I focus... focus... stay right..... I'm getting good at this. I cant find the Walmart even with the GPS..how does one lose a Walmart? I park elsewhere and walk (how rare is that in LA)...an older couple point me in the direction, I see it the address in the phone book was wrong. I grab the car and find a spot. OK my last Walmart was on tour when I needed toasters and stuff for the tour bus it was clean and happening..and yeah I know they kill small business blah blah- but small business can't help me find the Stones Monopoly sooooooooo I am a desperate man with only a few hours left in this country. This Walmart was really grotty and empty shelves and a bit scary... no Stones Monopoly but I could get a really good deal on extra extra large women's underpants where the red light was flashing!!!! I buy bulk batteries- MADE IN AMERICA- now that's rare and weird... some Halloween bat candy for the kids and a chocolate bar for the flight. I leave Van Nuys..... and head to the hire car place. The roads are busy the freeway moving fast.... I go for it. I drop in the car, and jump on the shuttle....I'm heading home.

I'm in the United Lounge-it's full of Sarah Palins...so fucking scary and they make bizarre moronic comments loudly- good goddess maybe it's the real Sarah P-they are dumb enough to be her. Is throttling someone to death for the good of the world still considered homicide? One Sarah P goes on about "The Blacks":..... I lean forward and say 'Wow THE All Blacks aren't they a great rugby team? " She stares at me... over her head.... I am innocent and sweet -see that butter melting between my lips.... I want to put in the fake glow in the dark vampire teeth and rip a hole in her racist neck!

A young man is opposite me using an Apple Mac.... I'm wondering if he is viewing porn either that or he has a tent pole in his pants. I ignore his royal horniest and read my book.... did you know that over 20 million men in America use viagra- I think this young man is one of them!!!!!!!!

Why do business men in flight lounges look so glum? Why do they always stare at my eyebrow ring like it's something so out of this world.

My flight boards ,it's 45 minutes late, United is no Emirates..... I roll with it. My seat is good, the older gentleman next to me is ok-though he looks pissed when I correct him on some figures on nuclear power stations (opps).... I pop my Stillnox I fade away...sleep sleep. I think I watched Russell in Robin Hood....... I HATED Iron Man II what a piece of shit that movie is...

We arrive Sydney, just transit no customs yet..call my Mum- see I am a good boy. 1 hour plus to Melbourne- immigration is auto because of my electronic passport..I've lost a day coming home so it's the 17th.

I see Warner has axed another 9 jobs-so more employees are gone in Australia...sales dropped by $14 million here last year. I wonder if another record company is about to crash and burn. Split Enz are on Warner-Mushroom.

I see it's official, Labor won 50.12 to Coalitions 49.88 % of the vote here for 2 party preferred...so Labor are the legitimate winner by about 30,000 votes- not many but sometimes that's all it takes.

I grab my car from long term and head home- call Marky on the way. I'll have to buy the Stones Monopoly on line...at least I tried.

I arrive home and find homemade sausage rolls and they are so great.......I pig out.....so nice to be home. I had a brilliant time in LA- thank you to the many and huge thanks to the Marquis De Sunset...for spoiling and looking after me and the "gals" for caring whether it's via phone or sitting next to me... I do feel like Robert Palmer sometimes!!!!

Thanks America!!!


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